One of Those Days

Did you ever have one of those days where you were only ten minutes into it and so much had already gone wrong that you just knew it was one of those days?

This is definitely one of those days.

Me and Aiden are already in beau coup trouble for playing outside when he was supposed to be in his room being punished and also, we had donuts for breakfast, which apparently can cause things only just short of complete Armageddon. Go figure.

So anyway, now I'm bored and there's nothing to do but this while I devise a plan to break Aiden out of prison. Okay, it's true he was wearing his school clothes while we were making a fort in the lilac bush, but really. There is such a thing as laundry and a bath.

I considered completing the fort by myself, but then I remembered how weird the neighbors get after something like that. So I guess I'll just wait til Emma comes over.

Also, me and the village office are having a difference of opinion. They are of the opinion they should keep breathing and I am of the opinion that they don't need to. Unless, of course, they are willing to rethink that whole water issue, in which case I would rethink how nice the world would be if they were dead.

I don't care what the DNR says about what the village does about it's groundwater. Screw the village and it's groundwater, I never wanted to live in the village, anyway. If the village is that worried about it's damned water let them purchase and install the new equipment.

Were they concerned about the water when the built the sewage treatment facility on the banks of the Kickapoo? No, they were not, so why should I care what they do now? Also, I have decided not to believe in the DNR. Clearly they are just a figment of the village's imagination and should not, therefore, be allowed to make any rules.

I wish that I had had the good sense to experience life with the village office before I went and did something crazy like buy a house. Alright, it's true that I went into raptures over the pocket doors and don't remember a lot after that, but you would think people would have learned by now that you should not let the person having raptures about architectural details make the decision.

Also, I wish I had remembered Jimmy's approach to home repair, like that time he removed the entire roof and then went to Texas and we bought a really big tarp in case it rained. I don't let him roof anymore.

I also don't allow him to re-wire the electricity, apply insulation or fix the plumbing. I am the only person I know who has to remember to turn on the cold faucet to get hot water and I do not even want to think about what he did to my washer.

And that time he decided to surprise me with a new bathroom after heart surgery. He has promised to restore all the walls and the closet and never hang drywall again in this lifetime and I have promised not to kill him. We're still waiting to see how that one turns out.

I liked the old bathroom, I had just redecorated and I did a better job than Mr. Early Primitive. On the other hand it keeps me from being pretentious, so it may shave a few hours off that seven million years I plan to serve in Purgatory after I'm dead.

Anyway, I can hardly wait to see what's next. Aiden's sentence should be up, I think I'll serve cake for lunch.