Absolutely Nothing

What to write about, as I am not feeling particularly funny, I am not outraged about anything and I am running low on Granny's homespun wisdom....Oh, yes, that incident when I went to pick up Matthew from his job at the resteraunt.

I have taken Matthew to work and collected him from work every time he has been there--he manages a little restaurant and one of his waitresses is the owner's daughter, incidentally--it's true that I was driving a different car, but I am rather memorable since I don't look like anyone else in the world. I dress in a particularly distinctive and peculiar fashion (thank you, Asperger's) and also there is that recent hair coloring experience that went sadly awry and now, once again, my hair is exactly the color of Bozo the Clown's fright wig.

I believe she was aware we had met.

It's also true that I was accompanied by my daughter-in-law, and it seems she and the waitress were not what one could call friends in high school, but that was a long time ago and, barring the possibility of severe mental illness, most of us forget high school ten minutes after leaving it.

Not this girl, but still.

So, as it happened, the waitress sailed out of the restaurant, noticed my car and announced in a very cavalier fashion that they were not open.

To which I replied, with a smile, "That's okay, honey, I'm here to collect Matthew." I said that on account of I wasn't raised by monkeys and MY Mama taught me some manners. But clearly we aren't all so blessed.

What I would liked to have said was, "How sad for you. We, on the other hand, ARE open and always willing to solicit new business. We're the Clark and Clark Corporation for the Correction of Little Snotty Girls with No Manners, would you like to take advantage of our daily special?"

The daily special being the part where I get out of the car and kick your skinny little ass from here to Christmas, and don't think I can't do it, Missy.

I taught my children manners. We're poor, but not ignorant. Didn't you teach your child manners? Assuming someone reading this answers no, why not?

In a civilized society, nice people recognize each other by the exercise of manners. Money will never substitute for that, because money can be gained or lost at any time, but civility is forever. I know I sometimes suspend civility to be funny, but I do that in print, it's part of my job, it isn't who I am.

I would never suspend civility in real life unless I was entertaining someone, and they understood it was part of the act.

I would like to make the study of manners obligatory for everyone. True civility is a system where "me" is never first. I stand up when you enter a room to indicate that I will give you my seat if you want it. I do that because I was taught to put your comfort ahead of mine.

No matter who you are, I will make you feel welcome in my presence, no matter where we are, because it's more important to me to make you feel comfortable than it is for me to feel better than you. Or to impress anyone who's watching, up to and including the President.

It is always better to be perceived as gracious than it is to be perceived as important.

I am not, nor will I ever be important. I hope I will always be gracious, patient, tolerant and kind.

I am not saying I succeed at that always, but it is what I aspire to. When did we, as a society, stop aspiring to those things?

A rich snotty bitch is still a snotty bitch and a poor gentleman is still a gentleman.

Remember that. And be the kindness.