Pilly's Christmas Carol

And if you're waiting for three ghosts and a trip back through time and an epiphany of life changing proportions, let me remind you that was Dickens.  My Christmas Carol is not all that great.

So, anyway, Ida's very big and generous heart can stretch to accommodate limitless numbers of people for the Christmas party, but her house cannot, so she moved the whole thing to the community building where we can have all the bacchanalian glee we want and all the kids have room to do kid things.

I had the most stupendous time and I would just like to tell Betty that she has to get well and stay that way, on account of now that I have discovered what a truly great sister-in-law she is, I need to make sure she will be there for the next twenty Christmases.

I will even hold Ida at gunpoint until she agrees to raffle off that Chrystal sleigh and reindeer harnessed with silver chains.

AND I will personally knock down the guy drawing the numbers out of the hat and dig through til I find Betty's and make sure she wins.  I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "But who will be holding the gun on Ida while you are fixing the raffle, Pilly?"

HA! I have that covered.  We will just make sure Larry is feeding her some devilled eggs at the time and everything will work out nicely.  Just trust me.  I'm good at this stuff.  I took care of the whole deputy incident, didn't I?  Yes, I did.

So, anyway, it was so wonderful I can't even begin to tell you how much fun I had.  That Ida knows how to throw a party.

She brought seven million ride on toys from many generations of Clark children and had races for the little people.  It's true that some little people clearly felt that all was fair in this no holds barred, highly important and serious quest for the best stuffed animal and were willing to do almost anything to insure that they had first choice.  Up to and including riding over the top of other racers.

Emma at one point was so fueled by single minded determination to have for her very own a pink spotted dalmatian that she cavalierly shoved Aiden out of the way, rode over Ada (who was enjoying a nice sugar cookie in her walker) and even mowed down the judges, since that was what it took to win.

I am happy to say she is now the proud owner of a prize pink spotted dalmatian puppy.  Later, Aiden threw her off his scooter and chased her around the hall as she rode the broom grandpa was using to sweep the floor, so it all evened out in the end.  Well, not for Ada, but still.

It turns out Ada really likes Christmas. From the moment she entered the hall, it was clear that nothing in her life up to this point had prepared her for a holiday so wonderful as this one.  The floor was a highly polished basketball court, thus making it possible to zoom around in a walker at 500 miles per hour shrieking "Ahhhhh" through a very big grin.

Then there was the food.  Clearly this was heaven.  Total strangers give you cookies, cake, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, fruit salad and more delicious things you never heard of.  Other children share lollipops with you.  You can run over your sister and nobody even cares!

And then, as if this was not glorious enough, Aunt Ida plops you on the floor and hands you a bag of presents.  Filled with things that jingle, sing, shake, stack, roll and whistle.  And someone hands you to Santa and lo and behold, he's your Grandpa!  Which no one ever told you before and is obviously a delightful surprise.

Emma is not the least bit impressed that her grandparents are famous.  If there is no competitive driving and stuffed prizes, Santa can go to the North pole for all she cares.  Unless he can pull a scooter out of that bag, she's moving on to the pinata.

And so she did.  I would like a word with the fellow who thought up the pinata.  Did it honestly seem like a good idea to you to fill a cardboard box with treats, hang it from a tree and then allow blindfolded and dizzy toddlers to wander around with a baseball bat swinging at every sound?

No one really wants a subdural hematoma for Christmas.  I'm sure it seemed like a giggle when you invented it, but you were wrong.  And then there is the small matter of the pinata mix currently sold by wal-mart to fill the pinata.

Some things that do not mix well with drunken, blindfolded toddlers are hard candy, small toys with parts that can be swallowed and the kind of taffy that requires a trip to the orthodontist if you ever want to speak again.  So why exactly are those things in the pinata mix?  Do you have a secret kick back scheme with the emergency room and the dental community?  Wouldn't hershey's Kisses do as well?  Just think about it.

God knows I would not want to deprive you of the joy of ruining Christmas for countless human beings in America.  After all, you are so good at that whole pharmacy business and you know how I feel about that.

But I digress.

We played bingo and tic tac toe, had fun prizes, ate until we were in danger of exploding, and best of all, got to spend Christmas with about 100 assorted grandchildren.  Among whom was the newest member of my family, little Miss Bailey who arrived suddenly in Mommy's bathroom one morning.  The earliest--and best--present I received this year.

I treasure Callies, kissing her dad and stroking Bailey's forehead, Autum playing bingo with me and Great Grandma Yvonne, Zoey running madly through the hall with Emma, laughing.  I treasure Aiden cuddling with me in a chair, Nina kissing me and softly saying, "Gumma" as she laid her head on my shoulder like a weary little traveller reaching home at last.

I treasure my Mandy, and Linkin who smiles just like Jacob and is his Mama's mainstay, always.  I treasure my little Heaven, who believes that Grandma can do all the magic things, even dance like a ballerina, and I treasure my little JM, another gentle little Jacob for me to love.  I treasure Mabel Rainbow, sleeping safe under her mother's heart and willing to kick me now and then, to say hello.

I treasure Emma and Ada sharing a lollipop like two other little girls, long, long ago.  And my parents, connecting us all from the biggest to the very smallest, with the golden thread that we so often take for granted, love.

I treasure my brothers-in-law and their wonderful wives and children, who share all their grandchildren with us.  I treasure Ida, because I am sure she  is the Saint of Christmas, but she has no idea she is, Ida who holds us together, our center, whose heart is the light that leads us home.

I treasure my two dads, who have both loved me and been there through all the moments of my life.  Father and Father-in-law, If I could have had you made to order, I would have ordered you just as you are.

I treasure my mother, the person I am most like, which is an honor, always.

I treasure my sons and my daughter, you are not all the children of my body, but every one of you is the child of my heart. I am so proud of you, and I love you without measure.

I treasure Rob and Jim and Buzz and all my boys who let me adopt them.  Rob who shares his heart and his sons with me, Jim who gives me my daughter, Kat , and his friendship and his humor, and Buzz who shares with me his wonderful way of thinking and his mom, my friend.

I treasure all of you and if I didn't mention you, it's not because I love you any less, but only that my heart is full and running over with the richness of your love, and with a measure as great and abundant as that, sometimes a drop slips by me, unremarked.

You have made me the richest woman in the world, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.